The Drain of Speaking about Your Negative Feelings and Experiences
As I’ve faced turmoil throughout my life, I’ve always turned to a trusted friend to discuss details of the quandary. I value other’s perspectives. Hearing from them, I learn more about human nature and myself. The framework of my thinking is broadened. I can make decisions and choices from a more informed mindset.
Another way I’ve explored problems is with counselors. The first time I saw a counselor, I was impressed with her ability to reflect me in the mirror of her statements. Nuances in my thinking became clear, and I was able to decide if I wanted to continue along the lines I had laid out for myself or not. During this exploration we would dialogue about situations, events, experiences, and emotions–sometimes the really problematic ones, over and over.
I appraised the value of these interactions as serviceable, even priceless. Even though these talks didn’t actually change what was happening in my life, I felt relief to have an outlet.
Recently, I started thinking about how negative emotions drain us. In the characteristic way the mind works, I leaped to a thought about all the private conversations I’ve had about circumstances and relationships that caused me pain, confusion, anger, or any number of negative emotions. Then the picture of a dripping colander appeared in my mind and I shuddered. Somehow my mind saw my being as the colander dripping from lengthy discussions about negative emotions.
Whoa! That was a provocative thought I hadn’t considered before. The more I think about it, the more the thought appears valid. There’s a point at which talking and thinking about negative thoughts only fuels them. What if talking therapy extends the pain of irresolution?
I heard from a psychologist recently that some therapists are beginning to doubt the efficacy of coming to conclusion by discussing painful experiences. Some find that their clients remain stuck, or worse, re-traumatized.
What’s another way for us to cope with negative emotions and experiences without giving them fuel to drain us?
How Going to Your Heart Can Stop the Drain and Offer Infinite Insights
While input from others is important and many times invaluable, we must hear our own self to know the best course of action for us. Neither our closest friends, nor soul-mate, can fully understand the scope of our inner landscape. No other humans can completely bridge the gap into knowing us as deeply as we know ourselves. That’s because we’re all finite, and only capable of understanding our bodies—where we intersect with our world.
The only person, who is actually capable of “getting” you, besides you, is someone capable of infinite consciousness. Then they could get “inside your head heart.” That person, according to the ancient Vedas, is Supersoul, the reservoir of consciousness of the universe. Infinite consciousness is capable of knowing each of us–in all the glorious and excruciating detail–at every moment. Just so happens, Supersoul, sits next to us in our hearts. He’s a real superhero. He’s an objective, attentive listener, gives piercing insights into our self and the nature of consciousness and heart, and often hands over solutions tapped from infinite knowing.
Since we tend to be out of touch with our selves centering in our hearts is a useful step. But since we’re finite we can only come to finite insights. When people receive insights that are beyond human limitations, they have communed with Supersoul.
The next time you want to pick up the phone and go over the details of your latest difficulty or catastrophe, consider checking in with yourself first. Not with your thoughts or emotions, with your Self.
Fill Up With Your Own Purchasing Power: Change the Focus of Your Awareness from the Outside to the Inside
Here’s a quick process for centering into your Self. I came across this in the new book Mahamantra Yoga by Richard Whitehurst (more about this book in an upcoming post).
• Sit quietly and breathe easily.
• At a slow pace, mentally count your breath until your lungs are mildly filled. Note the number.
• Hold your breath for that same count.
• Exhale for that same count.
• Rest the breath for the same count.
After five to ten repetitions, you’ll notice a marked change in the character of your mind. It’s flickering, unsteady quality begins to be replaced by a calmness and serenity.
• As the mind calms, focus your inner “looking” upon the mind’s screen—the place within the mind upon which the play of dreams takes place.
• View this screen from inside your heart in a relaxed way, as though gently trying to see (being open to see) into the depth of your inner visual field.
As you perform these three actions—breathing, counting, and looking from your heart upon the dream field—you begin to notice a shift in the orientation of consciousness from its usual outward-turned sensory mode to a new and far more suitable inward, centripetal orientation.
From here, with sincerity, ask your heart any question you have. Listen to what your heart has to say. You’ll discover more about who you really are, and maybe hear those whispers from the person with infinite consciousness.